Me, Myself & My Best-Self

Me, Myself & My Best Self: The Relaunch

• Claire Bennett • Season 2 • Episode 1

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Welcome back! 
Can embracing your true essence lead to a profound transformation? In this rejuvenated episode of "Me, Myself and My Best Self," I, Claire Bennett, share my personal journey of overcoming life's tumultuous challenges and finding congruence by aligning with core values. Discover the concept of "essentara," a philosophy that encourages living authentically beyond merely setting goals. Through heartfelt stories and practical tools, I invite you to explore how aligning with your core values can guide you toward a life of simplicity and shared humanity. Listen as I recount the overwhelming events that inspired me to create the R.E.A.L Life Coaching Program, designed to help others make small, meaningful changes toward a harmonious life.

Join me as we reflect on the importance of self-care, balance, and living with intention. Hear how working with a recovery organisation after losing my father to addiction taught me invaluable lessons about compassion and resilience. Embrace the idea of imperfect progress by taking small, intentional steps, and learn why taking breaks, like naps, should not be underestimated. Connect with our community @clairefullliving, where even the debate on coffee versus tea mugs can spark meaningful conversations. Let's embark on this journey together towards a purpose-driven life filled with energy and freedom.

Speaker 1:

Hello and welcome to Me, myself and my Best Self. I'm Claire Bennett, your coach, your cheerleader and occasional life over thinker. I'm so glad you're here as we relaunch this podcast. Whether you're a newcomer or you listened last year, welcome. If you're searching for clarity, balance or just some company while folding your laundry, then you're in the right place. While folding your laundry, then you're in the right place.

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This podcast is about more than self-improvement. It's about transformation, and I'm not talking about that instant transformation or that transformation where you have to take yourself off for three months and become a new person. I'm talking about small changes that can transform your life. I'll share personal stories, including the ones I should probably keep to myself, practical tools and steps you can actually do without adding to your to-do list, and by the end of today's episode, you'll have a simple action to kickstart your journey. So grab a cup of tea, coffee or whatever keeps you upright and let's dive into me, myself and my best self. So I'm going to kick things off with a bit of honesty. This is not my first time launching this podcast. I first launched this podcast in 2023.

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I was all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed thinking this is it. I'm unstoppable Spoiler. I was, in fact, stoppable, very stoppable. Life came at me hard. I had a personal loss, family responsibilities, running a business and even a legal issue that I was dealing with Don't worry, it was nothing criminal. And at one point I felt like I was auditioning for Survivor, the overwhelm edition. And even though I was trying to keep it all together and stay healthy, my body was like nope, cue the migraines, cue the fatigue and cue the gut issues. And then, on top of that, my brain decided to check out. I was constantly forgetting appointments, missing meetings and leaving emails and messages unanswered for days. But for me, I think the low point was when I managed to double book a vet appointment with a flight to Madrid. Now picture this I'm standing in a security queue at the airport where my phone rings and it's the vet. Where are you? The dog? Fine? My dignity? Not so much. And, yes, I still had to pay for the appointment. These silly mistakes were my wake-up call. They weren't just inconveniences, and some of them more expensive than others. They were signs that I was losing control. Any of this sound familiar? If you've ever felt like you're one meeting away from throwing your laptop out the window and running off to a desert island, then you are not alone. But here's the good news that rock bottom wasn't the end of my story, it was the beginning of something so much better.

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When I hit that breaking point, I knew something had to give the Claire who said yes to everything and everyone. She had to go. So I sat down, reflected and built what's now called the Real Life Coaching Program. Now the R-E-A-L stands for Reflect and Reframe, eliminate and Elevate, align and Act and Learn and Lead. And it's my baby, unlike actual babies. It doesn't wake me up at 3am, which is amazing, but it's my baby, but I love it. And here's something else.

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I also coined a word, and that word is esentara, and that's spelled E-S-S-E-N-T-A-R-A, and it's all about living in alignment with your core values and your truest self. So what does esentara mean? The word itself is a blend of roots and inspiration that reflect its depth. The first part, essence, comes from the Latin essentia, meaning essence or being. It's about reconnecting with the core of who you are, your values, your purpose, your authentic self. And the ending, ara or tara, draws on multiple cultural influences and I might say some of these names wrong, but in Sanskrit tara means star, symbolising guidance and illumination like a beacon to help you navigate life's challenges. In Latin, ara means altar, which speaks to creating a sacred space for reflection and devotion. Together they create a word that represents balance, guidance and living in harmony with your essence. But esentara isn't just a word. I also like to see it as a philosophy. It aligns with global content, concepts like japanese wabi-sabi, which is about embracing simplicity and the beauty of imperfection, or the african principle of uber two and I might have said that wrong uber two which emphasizes connection and shared humanity. Living in esentara means embodying a state where your actions, mindset and choices naturally align with what truly matters to you.

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For me, esentara is more than just setting goals. It's about creating a way of being that feels authentic, congruent and purpose-driven. It's about thriving, not just surviving. And yes, I realise I sound like a sales pitch right now, but honestly I get so excited talking about this because it transformed how I approach my life and when I set an insane Tara goal, I ask myself myself how do I want to show up in the world? And quite often can I do it without taking a nap. But to give you an example of one of my esentara goals last year, it was to learn how to relax.

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Now. I'm someone who feels accomplished if I've done all the housework, walked the dogs, paid the gas bill and gone to a yoga class all before 9am, and then for the rest of the day I'm constantly doing, whether that's meeting friends, researching work ideas or sorting out the hallway cupboard for the fifth time that year, or, even worse, doing for the sake of doing, or, even worse, doing for the sake of doing, and what I mean by that is not actually achieving anything, but just flitting from one job to another without ever finishing them. But here's the thing eventually I would crash, maybe one weekend a month. I'd be so drained I'd spend the weekend in bed eating takeaways and binge watching reruns of Monk. I realised that that was not sustainable. I value my time and I was sacrificing my energy for an honesty I don't know what. So I set a Sentara goal to learn how to truly relax.

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Now, I'm not talking yoga or meditation, although they are great. It was about finding what feels restorative to me. For instance, spending an afternoon reading a book, a trashy novel, aimlessly wandering around a vintage market that I've always wanted to visit, or curling up in the living room on a Sunday afternoon with a good movie. Up in the living room on a Sunday afternoon with a good movie. Looking back on 2024, I do still see the stress and the anguish, but I also see how much progress I made, not just in resting but in appreciating the positives amongst the challenges.

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One thing that I am eternally grateful for is my support system. My family, my friends and my four dogs were my rock. Yes, you heard that right. I have four dogs, and some days their waggy tails are like fairy little life coaches, reminding me that I've got this. And I have to say I really am one lucky girl. I really do have the best friends and family I could ask for. Well, most of my family. You can't choose them all, but even the tricky ones have taught me patience and, let's be honest, how to perfect an epic eye roll. And then there's my other job.

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After losing my dad last year to his struggle with alcohol addiction, I found a sense of purpose by working with an organisation that supports people in recovery from addiction. It reminded me that even in my hardest moments, I could still help others who were vulnerable. That work really became an anchor for me, me grounding me during a time when everything else felt so uncertain and selfishly. It gave me hope hope that recovery is really possible, that people really do overcome addiction. I've seen firsthand the resilience and strength it takes to fight through something so consuming, and it's nothing short of inspiring. Every time someone shares their story of recovery, it's like a little beacon of light, reminding me that change is possible even when it feels like the odds are stacked against you. This work also taught me so much about compassion, not just for others but for myself.

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Addiction is complex, it's messy and it's deeply human. Seeing people make progress, no matter how small, has given me a new perspective on what it means to move forward. And it's not about perfection. It's about persistence and grace, and that's a lesson I try and carry into every aspect of my own life. I won't lie, though there are times when it felt heavy. Some stories stay with you, but those moments of breakthrough, when someone takes even the smallest steps towards a healthier life, makes it all worthwhile. It's those moments that remind me why I do the work and why it's so important to keep showing up, both for others and for myself.

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But perhaps the biggest lesson of last year was that less is more. I stopped saying yes to everything, prioritised my health and embraced simplicity. And you know what, and you know what. A life filled with just enough feels so much better than one crammed with too much. It really is about quality over quantity, whether that's in relationships, commitments or even how many Netflix shows you try and binge all at once. When you focus on what truly matters, you create space for the things that bring real joy to your life.

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Now, this podcast is an extension of my journey. It's for anyone who feels like their life is spiralling out of control or, like me, who has googled, is feeling this tired, normal. The goal is simple to help you create clarity and fulfillment through intentional change. We'll talk about mindset shifts, resilience, habits and how to simplify without becoming a minimalist who lives in a cave unless that's your thing. But one of the core principles I'll share is the life part of the real life, and that is live with intention, freedom and energy, and it's not just a cute acronym. Thanks, chat, gpt. It's about building a life that aligns with your values.

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I'll break it down in more future episodes, but for now, think of it as your permission slip to stop trying to do it all. But, as promised, before we wrap up, I'm going to give you something to take away, an action to do, and all I want you to do it takes five minutes is take five minutes to reflect on one area of your life that you'd like to improve and ask yourself these two questions what feels overwhelming or out of balance right now? Then choose one of those things and then what's one small change you could make this week to feel a little better? And one tip for that is is there anything you can reduce or stop doing rather than add in? For example, last year I couldn't control all the chaos around me, but I could control how I cared for myself, be it yoga, helping others and cooking. They really did become my anchor, but they didn't fix everything, but they gave me moments of calm. Find your thing whatever it is and start there. I also made sure my way of self-care was truly nourishing to me. Now, don't get me wrong. There were definitely moments of binging on chocolate biscuits. I mean, I can now eat a whole packet of Hobnobs with just one cup of tea, and you know what. There's no shame. But let's be real. If I'd relied on Hobnobs as my main coping strategy, I'd probably be dealing with a weight problem and diabetes right now. So, while comfort food and other naughty treats have their place, balance really is key.

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And speaking of balance, one of my SNTARA goals last year was to stop looking at my phone while watching TV. Stop looking at my phone while watching TV. And what I realised was that I was missing the shows I actually wanted to watch, because I was aimlessly scrolling through social media and, yes, my algorithm is a delightful mix of cute dog videos. So I made a change I started leaving my phone in another room when watching TV. Was I perfect? Of course not, who doesn't sneak a peek now and then? But it made a huge difference. Not only did I enjoy the shows more and feel like, if I wanted to watch a TV programme, I was actually watching a TV programme but it also gave my brain the space to focus on one thing at a time. And there's the thing self-care doesn't have to be fancy or Instagram worthy. One time I decided to try a DIY face mask and let's just say I spent more time cleaning up the disaster from my kitchen counter than I did relaxing. But hey, you live and learn.

Speaker 1:

So what's one small change you can make this week? Maybe it's taking a 10 minute walk reading a chapter of that book. You've been meaning to finish watching that Netflix episode, but maybe just the one. Or decluttering a drawer in your house, but maybe just the one. Or decluttering a drawer in your house. Just one small, intentional step can lead to a big change over time. So what's coming next?

Speaker 1:

In the next few episodes, we're going to dive into the first step of the R-E-A-L framework reflect and reframe. Now. This step is all about reconnecting with yourself and discovering what brings you joy, those things that make your heart sing. For many of us, life just gets so busy and overwhelming we lose touch with what lights us up. I can't tell you how many people I've spoken to who say don't really know what I'm passionate about anymore. If that resonates with you, then these episodes are going to be a breath of fresh air.

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We'll also tackle those sneaky, limiting beliefs, the ones that quietly take root and stop us from showing up as our best selves. These beliefs can be anything from I'm not good enough to I don't have time for the things I love, and they often have bigger impact than we realise. I'll share some practical tools to help you identify and challenge these beliefs so you can start creating space for the things that matter. In upcoming episodes, we'll explore powerful questions like what brings you joy? What makes you lose track of time? What would your life look like if you fully embraced what makes your heart sing? And yes, I'll share more of my personal journey, including my struggle with my self-doubt. As a coach, for years, I carried around a little gremlin of self-doubt whispering who are you to guide others? Your life is such a mess, so how can you support others to improve theirs? What if you don't have any of the answers? Trust me, it wasn't cute or helpful. In one episode, I'll break down how I reframed that belief into something empowering and share how you can do the same.

Speaker 1:

This series isn't just about breaking free from what's holding you back. It's about reconnecting with what moves you forward. Whether it's rediscovering a long lost passion, finding joy in the small things or learning how to quiet that inner critic, these episodes will guide you towards clarity, confidence and a life that feels more aligned with who you truly are. So if you've ever felt stuck, lost or unsure of what lights you up, these episodes are for you. I'll be sharing actionable steps, thought-provoking questions and maybe a few laughs along the way, because, let's face it, growth is messy and definitely not a straight path. Sometimes it's more of a zigzag, complete with pitfalls and surprisingly detours, and that's where the magic happens.

Speaker 1:

So, for this week, thank you so much for joining me today. I hope you're excited about this journey. Remember, progress isn't about perfection. It's about small, intentional steps and naps. Naps are very underrated. If you enjoyed this episode, subscribe, share it with a friend or leave a review. You can also connect with me on social media at Claireful Living. And hey, if you're like me and have strong opinions with which mugs are for coffee and which are for tea, let's definitely chat. I'd love to hear all about your reflections and your mug preferences. Until next time, take care, be kind to yourself and remember the path to your best self starts with one small step and maybe a wagon of a tail or two.