From Hesitant to Heroic: The Alter Ego Advantage

Ever wondered how embodying an alter ego could transform your confidence and self-discipline?

Discover the secrets behind this powerful psychological tool as I, Claire Bennett, recount my journey of reigniting passion for podcasting after a hiatus. Inspired by a recent coaching session, I explore how stepping into an alter ego could help navigate life's challenges more effectively. Learn from the examples of icons like Beyonce and Rafael Nadal, and understand the research-backed benefits of alter egos, including the Batman effect and self-distancing techniques.

In this episode, I also dive into the creation of an empowering podcaster alter ego to boost productivity and self-assurance. Tune in to hear how adopting a polished appearance and an empowered stance can break free from self-imposed limitations. Drawing lessons from Mel Robbins' visualization techniques, I reveal how visualizing the actions required to achieve your goals can be more effective than merely picturing the end results. Finally, discover how tapping into a relaxed, confident holiday persona can bring more joy and effectiveness into your daily routine. Don't miss out on these actionable insights and personal anecdotes that will inspire you to become a healthier, more confident version of yourself.

Transcript

Embodying Your Alter Ego for Self-Improvement

Speaker 1 0:01

Welcome to Me , myself and my Best Self , the podcast where we navigate the labyrinth of personal growth with a relaxed and realistic approach . I'm Claire Bennett , your host , okay , so , yes , let's address the elephant in the room . So my last podcast was back in January it was the 2nd of January to be precise , and I can give you lots of excuses about my absence , but in truth , I let life get in the way and I lost motivation , but I never stopped wanting to do a podcast and I still have a lot to say and , in truth , it has taken me this long to regain the motivation to get back on it Now this week . The inspiration for this podcast came from a coaching session that I had last week , for this podcast came from a coaching session that I had last week . Now , my client , in a certain context for the sake of anonymity , I'm going to say when they're on holiday . So when they're on holiday , they are confident , they value themselves , they feel safe , they have healthy boundaries and they're not afraid to say what they want . However , in other contexts of their life , they struggle to be this version of themselves and they had a situation during the week where they wished that they had done things differently and that they had been more like the version of themselves when they're on holiday . Now we wrote down all the positive attributes about themselves when they're on holiday and we discussed the issue about the event that didn't go well .

Speaker 1 1:27

Now , in that moment , I was pondering about how to move forward with the session . Should we look at limiting beliefs about that situation ? Should we look at expectations of that situation , etc . Etc . And then this one question kept going around in my head and I asked the client what would they have done on holiday ? So what would they have done that their versions of themselves would have done differently ? So this created this actually created an aha moment for my client . We then re-looked at the difficult situation and how they would have dealt with it if they were the holiday version of themselves . This also created a tactic that they could use going forward . If they had a situation that they were not happy with , they could ask themselves what would I do on holiday ? Could help them embody their version of themselves . That could help them deal with situations in line with how they wanted to act , with a different mindset .

Speaker 1 2:31

Now this led me to the concept . I started to do some research . It led me to a concept called alter egos , and the more I researched this topic , the more I realised that it could be something that ties in well with how I'm going to approach this whole podcasting thing going forward . Now , I'm not talking superheroes . I'm talking about us , mere mortals , using an alter ego to help us live the life that we want . Now , famous people like David Bowie , beyonce and Adele have all used alter egos . David Bowie had many , but the most famous is Ziggy Stardust , beyonce had Sasha Fierce and Adele had Sasha Carter . And it's not just pop stars that use this technique . Apparently , tennis star Rafael Nadal spends five minutes in front of the mirror stepping into his alter ego before every match . Rafa off the court may be a very kind and humble human being , but his alter ego on the court is an absolute killer .

Speaker 1 3:35

Although the embodiment of fictional persona may seem like a gimmick for pop stars and sports stars , there is actually research that suggests that there may be some real psychological benefit to this strategy . So if we take a few minutes to kind of look at what this research shows , so Professor Ethan Cross from the University of Michigan gave children a difficult puzzle and tasks to solve . Now they found that the children that were asked to pretend that they were their favourite superhero or fictional character , actually performed better . They persisted longer and experienced less frustration . They went on to dub this the Batman effect .

Speaker 1 4:22

Now , in another experiment , they asked a group of adults to give a brief public talk . They asked the participants to work through their emotions about the challenge using the third person . So instead of saying I feel , they said Claire feels . They found that this distancing practice not only reduced subjective ratings of emotion , but also objective measures such as changes in heart rate and blood pressure , which are often associated with high stressful events . The participants that did this strategy were also rated at having better talks by independent observers . So , as well as being able to boost confidence , some research has shown that it might be able to help us with self-control and hey , we all need a little bit of self-control . So they asked participants to practice this self-distancing as they were faced with the choice of various kinds of foods , for example , fruit compared to candy . When participants practiced asking themselves what does Claire want rather than what do I want , they were more likely to choose the healthier option .

Speaker 1 5:38

Now , ethan and his team suspect that part of the magic behind this effect being able to self-distance is in the ability to step back and think about our experience without the emotional attachment . So , if you think about it , distancing ourselves from our emotions might not always be a bad thing . So if I was going to create an alter ego to help me stop snacking or to improve my diet , then I start to think about the type of person that I would need to become For example , someone that values my health , someone that cares about how I nourish my body , someone that can eat one chocolate biscuit and then put the packet away . Someone that loves cooking healthy meals , someone that went out for dinner , chooses a healthy option or at least a semi-healthy option , someone that plans their weekly meals , someone that eats mindfully , etc . Etc .

Speaker 1 6:38

And this also reminds me of a coaching technique that I sometimes use . So , when someone is trying to work through a problem , what I do is ask them to work through a problem as if they were talking to a friend . Now , the key to this is the language that you use . When you use words like you and your , rather than me and my , we're actually activating different parts of our brain than me and my . We're actually activating different parts of our brain the parts we normally use to think about other people , and we're often much better at helping other people work through problems than we are about thinking through our own problems . So I know that I sometimes talk to myself in this third person like , come on , you can do this . Or come on , get your lazy ass out of bed .

Speaker 1 7:26

But and I think to some extent , we all have alter egos , right , we may be different people in different contexts , and this has probably happened without much conscious thought . So why not start consciously using it to become the person that you want to be in certain contexts ? So maybe when setting a goal , or next time you have to do a presentation that is maybe making you anxious , or next time you have to do a presentation that is maybe making you anxious , think about creating an alter ego , a version of yourself that is capable of achieving the goal or is super excited about the presentation . So how do you show up as your alternate self ? So you have a goal that you want to achieve . Decide what type of person would be able to get that result .

Speaker 1 8:17

Write down all the characteristics of that alter ego what this person looks like , what this person dresses like , how they behave and speak although I wouldn't recommend you changing your accent . What I mean here is the language that you use , how they carry themselves , how they deal with other people , what are their habits , what are their mindsets and when it comes to be that alter ego , take on all their characteristics . For example , if your goal is to get that promotion to manager , then become manager , claire . It is a bit like faking it until you make it . Now this might all seem a little bit false but and a bit unauthentic . But naturally we are different in different contexts and that is okay . Identity is not fixed and this also doesn't mean that we're not being authentically us . Often we think that our authentic self is this one thing , but in truth , if we are dealing with people and situations with integrity , in line with our values and from good intentions , then that is us being authentic .

Speaker 1 9:29

And if we look at this thing called confidence , most people I know would like to be more confident in certain aspects of their life . Everyone has anxiety or mistrust about themselves in certain situations . So what is confidence ? Confidence is a belief in oneself , the conviction that one has the ability to meet life's challenges and to succeed and the willingness to act accordingly . So if we do have anxiety or limiting beliefs about our abilities in certain situations , then maybe the art of distancing ourselves emotionally can help us prove to ourselves that we can do it . And if the way to do this is by creating an alter ego , then why not ? We're not doing something that we don't want to do . We are just creating the will to act accordingly . Also , just like Beyonce , this alter ego doesn't have to be here forever . Beyonce declared back in 2010 that she no longer needed Sasha Fierce . She had grown into the person Sasha had helped her to become that sassy , confident performer that is now Beyonce .

Speaker 1 10:41

Now , when I think about alter egos , there are some reservations . This shouldn't be used to run away from our emotions . We should still do the work on ourselves , for example , releasing limiting beliefs , facing our fears , etc . And we should not create alter egos that are not aligned to our values . We should not create alter egos to please someone else . It has to come from us and it has to be someone that we want to be , not someone that we think society or others want us to be . Also , don't try and use an alter ego to replace you . An alter ego is something that you tap in and out of . Start small and use it in certain situations .

Speaker 1 11:27

So , for me , I really want to do this thing called podcasting . So , if I think about it , I need to be someone that is consistent , someone that records and delivers a podcast every week , no matter what . I need to be someone that is constantly taking time to think about podcast ideas , that have a note on my phone to capture any inspirations . I need to be confident , relaxed , fun and energetic . I also want to be funny . I can be funny , honest , but I also need to consider my habits . When am I going to record ? I need to give myself time in the week to work on this . I need to make sure that I'm surrounding myself with inspiration , be it people , places , books , research , journals , podcasts , films or TV .

Speaker 1 12:13

So , to help me do this , I've been listening to some podcasts over the last few weeks , and when I think about podcasters that I admire , the two that come to mind are Francesca Amber and Mel Robbins . I particularly like the vibe of Francesca , as she is funny , honest and relaxed . I listen to her on a Friday morning whilst making breakfast and , to be fair , it's like listening to a good friend . I also love Mel Robbins , who has amazing knowledge . She is super easy to listen to . She has some amazing guests and she's professionally relaxed .

Creating Empowering Alter Egos

Speaker 1 12:46

So this week I'm going to sit with this and create my podcaster alter ego , imagining my alter ego recording a podcast , and I'll play around with postures and how I dress and the emotions that I feel and then build in the habits that I need . Now , thinking about this has also kind of brought up a couple of other little nuggets to mind . So I'm a firm believer that if you feel good , you do good , and what I mean by this is when I dress in nice clothes now I'm not talking ball gowns per se , but when I'm in something other than my sweatpants , when I've done my makeup , when my hair looks good , I feel better and often it makes me more productive , I have more energy . So when thinking about this alter ego , also think about how they show up in the world . Now I'm not saying that your alter ego needs a whole new wardrobe , but start dressing to feel good rather than just comfy . Make sure you make time to get yourself in , to make yourself feel like you can face the world . And again , there's lots of research on this topic . But , just to let you know , I'm here recording this podcast with my makeup on , with my hair done . I'm standing . I'm not sitting . For some reason , this helps me feel more empowered .

Speaker 1 14:06

And the second little nugget that I had was I listened to a Mel Robbins podcast a few weeks ago and it was called how to manifest anything . You want four simple steps backed by neuroscience and Olympic athletes . It's a really interesting podcast and I'd recommend listening to it . But one step that she talks about is using visualization and how most people are using this incorrectly when they are trying to achieve something . Now , there's lots of research on visualisation and the benefits it has on realising your goals , and I'll definitely do a podcast on this in the future .

Speaker 1 14:43

But what's really important was that Mel advised that most of us are visualising incorrectly . We are often told to visualise the end goal , so imagine ourselves with the new house , driving the new car , earning that increased salary at the finish line of a marathon , if that's your thing , but that doesn't really help us to achieve the goal . What we should be doing is visualising the actions that we need to take to achieve that goal . Now she gave the example of it's 5am and it's raining outside and you visualise yourself getting your running gear on and heading out the door to do a marathon training run by yourself . This then primes your brain . This then primes your brain . So when you do have to wake up at 5am for real and it's raining and you need to do that run , you technically have already done the action before , because our brains cannot tell the difference between reality and visualisation .

Speaker 1 15:43

So when I'm thinking about this alter ego and what they're doing and how they're acting , it's not about the end goal of me being a number one podcaster . It's actually the actions that I need to do to get me to that goal . So what I would suggest is think about something you want and I'd recommend , with just one thing , or it could get confusing with all these alter egos , but for you , maybe it's that promotion , maybe it is improving your health . It could be starting , or in my case , restarting that podcast . It could be running that marathon or it could be meeting that special someone . Now start role-playing as your alter ego . Have fun with it , but if you stick with it , your alter ego may end up showing you what you're capable of .

Speaker 1 16:34

Stepping into the world of an alter ego can be a way to consciously reconstruct our own identities and rewrite the stories of ourselves . So use it as a tool to grow in confidence , to engage in self-distancing , to perform more creatively and find new ways to express yourself . The evidence makes a strong case for adopting an alter ego . It can be incredibly empowering , helping us to break free from the limitations imposed by us or our insecurities , or by society . So I'm definitely excited to try this one and I'm going to see what happens and I'll keep you updated . I also think it could be quite fun .

Speaker 1 17:17

So , according to , let's go back to a bit of research . So , according to Rachel White , who is an assistant professor of psychology at Hamilton College in New York State , self-distancing gives us a little bit of extra space to think rationally about the situation . It allows us to rein in undesirable feelings like anxiety , increases our perseverance on challenging tasks and boosts our self-control . So what's not to love about creating an alter ego ? Love about

Creating Your Alter Ego

Speaker 1 17:49

creating an alter ego .

Speaker 1 17:49

And maybe it's not about creating a whole new persona . Maybe it's creating that holiday version of you . Maybe when you're on holiday , you are more relaxed , you're nicer to your husband , you're more engaging with your children , you have the confidence to dress how you want , you are relaxed , you read books , you do this , you do that . Maybe it's about tapping into a version that already exists of you and maybe just giving it a name , and when you come into those challenging situations or when all you think that actually holiday me would be really good in this situation at work , maybe embody that version of you . Now I would love to know if any of you do this . If you try it , send me a DM or message me and let you know how you get on . So thank you for joining me on this episode . Hope you enjoy creating your alter egos and if you found value in our discussion , don't forget to subscribe , share and leave a review . You can also follow me on instagram at clairefullliving . So until next week , keep thriving on your journey .