Me, Myself & My Best-Self

The Compass Within: A Guide to Uncovering Your True Self

• Claire Bennett

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Imagine a compass guiding you towards your best self. Join me, Claire Bennett, as we undertake a riveting journey towards self-discovery. We unravel the threads of self-reflection and delve deep into understanding our core values, passions, strengths, and meaning. Drawing from my own experiences, we'll unearth how values shape our behavior and why it's crucial to reassess these values as they evolve. We'll then pivot to our passions, those pursuits that keep us engrossed, offering clarity and direction in our personal growth journey.

Ever caught yourself lost in an activity or constantly learning about a particular topic? That's a passion calling out to you! We're diving into the world of passions, understanding how they act as the driving force behind a fulfilling and purposeful life. And it doesn't stop there. We'll also explore the monumental role our unique strengths play, and how to harness them to fuel personal fulfillment. Together, we'll demystify the elusive concept of personal meaning, understanding that it is as diverse as we are. So, let's buckle up and embrace this enriching journey towards living a truly fulfilling life.

If you would like to download the PDF for this episode, you can find it on, my Instagram account @cliairefullliving.

Speaker 1:

Hey there, curious minds and self-improvement dabblers, welcome to Me, myself and my Best Self. The podcast where we casually navigate the maze of personal growth without the hype, no promises of overnight transformations or grand life revelations here, just real talk, relatable stories and a few laughs as we figure out this whole becoming our best selves thing. I'm Claire Bennett, your guide through the maze of life's quirks and challenges. Let's wonder through it together. No pressure, no perfection, just a touch of curiosity. Now, I must admit I'm a bit late with this week's podcast, but that's because I haven't been feeling my best self. Yeah, I got the wretched cold, the December cold but I feel like I can get through it now. So this week's episode is all about some self-reflection.

Speaker 1:

Now, I know at this time of year life is busy. We often have more social events than normal. We are finishing off projects before the end of the year and also prepping for Christmas. But if you want to make some changes in the new year, it's also a good time to start some work now. I don't mean setting goals yet, but it is a good time to start getting reacquainted with ourselves At this time of year. I like to do some prep work so that I can go into the new year ready to set my goals Over the next few weeks. I'm going to take you through the steps that I follow. These steps can be done at any time of the year, but behavioural scientists have found that individuals are more likely to engage in goal directed behaviours and exhibit increased motivation towards achieving personal objectives when they perceive the beginning of a new time period, for example, new year, new week, new month, or after a special occasion like a birthday or an anniversary. You get the gist. This phenomenon is known as the fresh start effect. So I suppose this time of year is as good a time as any.

Speaker 1:

This week I'm going to be doing some self reflection reflection of my values, of my passions, of my strengths and what brings meaning to my life. I'm going to start with values we know. When we know our core values, life becomes a little bit easier to navigate when we're making decisions, big or small, on Monday, and they are often based on our values. They are core beliefs that guide our behaviour. We are often most comfortable, content and without internal conflict when we can stick close to our values, and the said can be true for the reverse when we feel extremely uncomfortable when we are not able to live in line with our values. This discomfort can take many forms, from anger to anxiety, and can feel confusing when we're not aware of where it's coming from. Understanding our values brings a two-fold advantage. Clarity about our values provides a stable and guiding foundation, especially during challenging moments, crucial decision-making or testing situations. Moreover, these values contribute to a well-lived and authentic life. Being anchored in our values can empower us to navigate situations that make us feel out of alignment, providing the courage to make necessary changes and encourage us to stay true to ourselves and our aspirations.

Speaker 1:

So how do you identify your values? Well, the way I do it is I take a pen and a pad. You can do it on the computer, but I'm a bit old-school and I just list my values. I use the following questions to help me to identify them. The first question is what qualities do I admire in others? So think about individuals you respect and admire. What characteristics or virtues stand out to you? These may reflect your own values. And the second question is what do I prioritize in my relationships? Think about your relationships, both personal and professional. What qualities and principles do you prioritize in these connections? These could also reflect your core values. I've not done the exercise yet, but I know that some of my values include honesty, accountability, creativity, love and health. If you struggle, there are plenty of value lists that you can Google and you can choose the values that resonate with you.

Speaker 1:

The next step of the values is to prioritize your values and select your five most important values. You may need to spend some time doing this. I do it by comparing two values against each other quickly and then putting a star next to the one that was chosen. The values with the most stars are my top five. So, for example, I take my values honesty and accountability, creativity, love and health so I take honesty and accountability. For me, accountability wins, then honesty and creativity honesty wins, then love love wins, then health honesty wins. So honesty has two stars. Then I do the same for accountability, and so on and so on. No, you may want to do that process or you may just look at your list and automatically you know which your top five are. Okay, so now you have your top five values.

Speaker 1:

I then ask myself the following questions. Number one what does this value mean to me? This is like your definition of the value. For example, accountability for me is taking responsibility for my thoughts, behaviors and emotions and not blaming others or circumstances for my behavior, failures or circumstances, having the mantra that I am where I am because of the choices that I have made. So you can look it up in a dictionary and I'm sure it would be a different Kind of definition, but this is a personal definition to you. Now, question two why is this value important to me?

Speaker 1:

Again, taking accountability is important to me because it helps motivate me, because I can only blame myself if I do not achieve what I want to achieve. It helps me to foster continuous self-awareness, because it makes me acknowledge the areas for improvement and taking proactive steps to enhance myself. It also means that when I do achieve something, that is my achievement and I can celebrate it. Now I do this exercise yearly because, like with everything, things change and, although our values are not likely to completely change, their hierarchy or their meaning or their importance to us does evolve. So then the next step Identify my passions. Identifying your passions is a deeply personal and exploratory process.

Speaker 1:

Passions are activities or ideas that inspire you, that truly excite you, ignite your enthusiasm and bring you joy. For this I again get some paper and pen and I answer the following questions. What activities make me lose track of time? This might not be every time, but on the most part, when I do these activities does time fly. What do I enjoy doing when I have free time Not that I get free time that much, but when I have an afternoon with no plans, what do I choose to do with that time? What were my childhood interests and hobbies? Think back to those times when, as a kid, and you're bored, or those things that you loved, mine was always crafts or painting things, or not, that I'm good at painting, but it was creating something, being creative, making up plays or songs, or, but it was creative, was always interest, and reading. Reading was the other one I loved.

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If money was no object, how would I feel my time? So what activities would you pay for? What would you buy? What would you do with that money? What topics or activities do I find myself constantly reading or learning about? So, when you're procrastinating or searching on your phone while you're watching Netflix or I know, I try to multitask what is it that I'm looking at? What is it that excites me? What do I read about? What do? What are all those tabs that I said, are open. What are they all about? What gives me a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment? So when do I feel like fulfilled and accomplished? When I'm doing what and what could I talk about for hours. So, off the top of my head, personal development is a passion for me. I spend my spare time doing activities and researching new methods, and I can definitely talk about it for hours.

Speaker 1:

Another passion is dogs. I already have four of them, but I know if money was no problem, I'd buy a big house and just rescue more. And in my spare time, I spend time with my dogs, and all I need to do is look at my Instagram feed and it's full of dog videos. My favorite accounts, by the way, is that American guy that has literally bought a big house and he rescues dogs. He keeps the ones that can't be re-homed. I think the account is called the Asher House. I'm in love with this guy and all of his dogs. There's also the dogist. He just roams around I think it's New York and takes pictures of people's dogs. I mean, he's living his best life. Okay, I could literally talk about dogs all day, but back to this podcast.

Speaker 1:

Okay, remember that your passions may change and evolve as you go through different stages of life. It's important to remain open to new experiences and continue exploring what excites you, but your passion is a key component to a fulfilling and purposeful life. Knowing what they are consciously means that you can actively make more time for them. Okay, so stage three, or the next step, is to uncover your strengths. Now, strengths refer to the qualities, abilities or characteristics that individuals excel in, and strengths contribute our effectiveness, our performance and success in various aspects of our life. Strengths can be both inherent traits, so stuff that we are just naturally good at, and developed skills. And if I was to think of a couple of my strengths, they would be a love of learning and creativity. Now, creativity for me is not artistic and rubbish, art and music, etc. But I do love to solve problems and I'm good at it. So my creativity is thinking outside of the box. For example, I recently fixed my shower door with the help of some blue tack and a screw. Not sure how long it will last, but so far so good.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so to identify your strengths, yes, again, I get paper and pen and I ask myself the following questions what activities energize and motivate me? What tasks do I find easy or come naturally to me? What skills or qualities do I rely on during those challenging times? What skills or tasks do I enjoy teaching or sharing with others, and what do others compliment me on or always ask you for help with? I like to do these questions because it helps me identify the more granular strengths. For example, cooking is a strength for me, but this would again be a creative skill. But I like the granular level because I can then use these in challenging times when I need to take some time out, I'm stressed and I need a distraction Instead of watching TV. I'll cook because it's a strength. It's something that soothes me. Plus, I get the bonus of eating my creation at the end of the process. But if you would like to make it a little bit easier on yourself, there is a great free strengths assessment called the VIA character strengths inventory. I think the VIA stands for values in action. I'll add the link to the podcast notes. The VIA has identified 24 universal strengths. Now we all have those 24 strengths. It's not like we only have a few, we have all of them. But depending on how you answer the questions, it ranks you against them. So you will have all those 24 in the order of your strengths.

Speaker 1:

Now, understanding your strengths helps you to make informed choices for your personal and professional pursuits. For example, I love learning, is a strength to me. So when I had the opportunity to study again, I knew that I would flourish because it was a whole year of where I could learn new skills and knowledge. And, looking back, I always chose jobs where there was an opportunity to learn a new skill. And you know, those questions that they ask at the interview are asked at the end of an interview. When you're going for a new job, the question that I would always ask is about their development and training programs. So, your strengths if you can do a job that plays up to your strengths, then that's kind of a bonus.

Speaker 1:

Okay, last but not least, I like to understand what brings meaning to my life. Now, I'm not asking you to answer the question what is the meaning of life or life in general? Sorry, I'm not asking you what the meaning of your life or life in general, but I'm asking what brings meaning into my life. I know that family and friends bring meaning to my life. Listening to music brings meaning to my life. When something is meaningful to you. It often elicits strong emotions. You may feel a sense of joy, fulfilment, satisfaction or a deep connection with that thing. Now, relationships, activities, ideas and possessions can all bring meaning to our life. Okay, so how do you identify what brings meaning to your life?

Speaker 1:

Now, my favourite way to do this is an exercise that takes seven days, but I think it's worth it. Over the period of seven days, you take photographs of the things that make your life feel meaningful. Now you limit this to nine to twelve photos and then at the end of the week, you ask yourself two questions. The questions are what does this photo represent and why is it meaningful? Now, this exercise is based on research by Stigar, shim, berens and Shin. Sorry, I had to reference it. That's the academic in me and you might think oh, that's a long time seven days and then I have to answer these questions. But throughout the week, you kind of are in situations and you think is this meaningful to me? So, actually, for the whole week, you're thinking about what brings meaning to your life, and I think it's a really, really good exercise to do.

Speaker 1:

Now. You could also do it another way. This one's not based on research, but it's similar to the photo exercise. It's look over the photos you've taken. So I would do this for the past year, but you could. You could do it for however many years you wanted to look back and identify nine to twelve photos that make your life feel meaningful and again ask those questions what does this photo represent and why is it meaningful? Or you could also get pen and paper and write a list of all the things in your life that elicit strong, positive feelings and, once you have the list, ask yourself why are these things meaningful to you now? You do.

Speaker 1:

Now, once you've done those four exercises, you don't need to do anything with the information that you've gathered at this stage. It's just information. Over the next few weeks, we'll be using this information to help us approach 2024 in the best way possible. Or you may not want to do anything with this information, and just knowing your values, your passions, your strengths and what brings meaning to your life can be enlightening. There's been a lot of information in this podcast, so I'm going to put it all into a pdf and add it to my instagram account. You can go to claire full living and click on the links and look for the personal reflection blueprint. I'll add it to the. I'll add all the exercises and a link to the via. Any problems, just email me at hello at clairebeniccom and request a copy, and I'll try and send it straight over.

Speaker 1:

Now, as we draw the curtain on this episode, I invite you to embark on this reflective journey as we approach the year's end. Delving into the realms of our values, passions, strengths and what brings meaning to our lives sets the stage for purposeful living in the year ahead. It's crucial to note that this process is not about immediate action, but about cultivating self-awareness, whether you choose to weave these insights into your life or simply revel in the newfound understanding here's to approaching 2024 with a deeper sense of self. Next week, I'm going to be auditing my life and, until then, relish in the power of getting to know and understand yourself. Thank you for joining me on this very short episode, but I got through it without coughing or having to blow my nose, um. But thank you for joining me on another episode of me myself and my best self. Until next time, keep wandering through the maze with curiosity, embracing the imperfection and, as always, seeking your best self without the pressure of perfection. Cheers to the journey.